SOME THOUGHTS ON HOLDING HANDS (IN HONOR OF MY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY)

1. Holding hands means 'I Love You', but it also means:

• I'm cold
• I'm scared
• I'm hungry
• (If followed by a series of squeezes) I can't point because that would be rude, but look over there!

2. Holding hands during a long car ride is the best ever. Bonus points if we're on vacation. Triple points if the sunroof is open and a breeze dances inside the car.

3. The exception to #2, if the weather is over 95 degrees, holding hands will wait until cooler temperature and less-sweaty palms.

4. After you sneeze, you don't have to hold my hand anymore.

5. When we're in a restaurant, we can hold hands until the food comes, but after that, it's probably good for your hands to stay away from my plate.

6. The 600th time we held hands was just as sweet as the first time.

7. The best thing to say after you hold my hand is, 'do you want some wine?' The worst thing is, 'your hands are clammy'.

8. Watching other people hold hands is fun; my favorites, in no particular order:

• teenagers
• toddlers
• people married 50+ years
• otters
• best friends
• couples newly in love
• children walking with their parents
• adults walking with an elderly relative

9. The best ways to hold hands (although I don't think I'd like #8. Let's not do #8):

10. I'll hold hands with you forever, if you'll let me.

photos: Billboard.com, Giphy and Tumblr