What the Fuck Should I Do With My Life?

The path is in shadow at times; and in sunlight at others.

Have you ever thought: I hate my job and (maybe) my life?

You've found yourself spinning in circles, asking:

What the fuck should I do with my life?

I wouldn't know anything about that. Just kidding. Boy, can I relate.

Three years ago, I owned a vintage clothing shop. I made fantastic money and I knew my industry like the back of my hand. I could tell you what was going to be in style, the yearly sales cycle and the best places to source inventory.

The problem was, I was beginning to hate it. Vintage by it's very definition means old and rare, as in, not always easy to find...I was constantly shopping for stuff. Storage was becoming a problem. And shipping said inventory meant traveling was an issue: can't send that dress if I'm in Italy.

If I loved my job, then all of those things would have been figure-outable.

But I didn't really like it anymore.

So I took the summer off. I read a zillion books, explored a bit, danced and drank. Spent time with family. Wrote. 

My view from poolside, during a self-imposed time out.

In the back of my mind I kept hearing the same question:

"What the fuck do I want to do with my life?"

So I went back to work. I knew my vintage clothing business wasn't in my heart. I began to step down my retail and step up my writing. I read a lot written by and written about some powerhouse entrepreneurs.

But something was off. I couldn't figure it out.

Then it hit me.

It's not just what I want to do, it's how I want to do it.

The standard advice these days is: do what you love. That thing you do better than everyone else? Do that.

And not just do it. Do it big. Live big. Epic. Boss. Ultimate.

That's a hell of a lot of pressure. The quest for bigness can turn a desire to transform the world into a desire to take over it. Subtle difference in wording with a big change in meaning: help vs. dominate.

I don't want to dominate. Not really.

And as an introvert, "make it epic"...makes me tired.

I want to "make it matter" more than I want to make it epic. To be of service rather to conquer. I want to notice the small moments and relish the big ones. I want to do what I love in a way that makes me comfortable.

I want to do small things greatly; and to do great things in my own way.

We really need to ask ourselves 3 questions:

"Who the fuck am I"

"What the fuck am I going to do with my life"

and finally, "How the fuck am I going to do it"

Who the fuck are you? Really and truly...who are you? What is your role, day to day, in life. Answer that question first. For more on that topic read my post about how many people we are every day.

Find your "what the fuck should I do with my life" next. What would you most regret NOT accomplishing? Do that. Begin writing that novel. Launch that project. Start that blog. Do it. I've written a book about re-igniting your spark. It's called Love, Your Furious Muse...it's a letter which begs the question of you: why the hell did you give up your dreams so easily? Find Love, Your Furious Muse here. It will hold your feet to the fire, then afterwards give you a hug and tell you everything will be just fine. Just like a muse should.

Follow up the 'what' with "how the fuck should I live my life" afterwards. You can do it your way: epic, small or anywhere in between. (Read my post about why I don't do a lot of the business stuff I'm supposed to do.) 

But do it in a way which is natural to who you are and what you want to be.

And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.